Top 10 mistakes of a newbie stoner

1. What do you mean, you're not throwing down?
Listen up Newbie, the only time you should get smoked up for free is your first time (or if you do something deserving). So ask your new-found stoner friends how they get weed, then get out 20 bucks and buy yourself a bag. If you don't throw down, you're probably not going to be smoking. Assuming that your friends are gonna smoke you up is like going to the movies with them and assuming they'll buy your ticket for you...Don't be that asshole, buy your own bud.

2. Stop being so paranoid, it's not like you robbed a bank
Seriously - chill out and stop whipping your head around like you're trying to remove it from your neck. Try to be quiet, try to move less... you'll only get caught if you smoke somewhere stupid or draw a lot of attention to yourself. So chill the fuck out, and don't ruin the vibe.
(Oh, and if you're really worried about getting caught, watch this)

3. No, it isn't laced, you're just really high
You didn't get a lung-full of PCP when you hit that joint, the rest of us are clearly all fine. If you're not experienced with high quality marijuana, it's not unusual to feel like you just dropped a tab of acid. You're just really high. Just take a few more tokes and you'll mellow out.

4. Coughing gets you higher
Quit puffing your cheeks out like you're some kind of chipmunk. No one cares if you let out a cough - there's an old stoner saying "Coughing gets you higher". Just let it all out and try not to cough on anyone - you'll feel better and you won't look like a fucking idiot.

5. ... but don't cough into the bowl
Never, ever blow air BACK INTO A BOWL. Unless you're clearing a bowl that has already been finished, never blow air back into any type of smoking device. You'll cause the weed to fly out and be lost forever.

6. Your dealer doesn't sell pot as a full time job
Chill out dude, he's got other things to do besides selling you a dime bag. He's on his way home from out of town, he's gotta sell some other kid a half, he's gotta get a ride from his friend, he's gotta do a million other things. Dealers are people - just like you! They have lives, and they're very busy people. They're out smoking a blunt, and your text for a measly ten bag can fucking wait - get used to it.

7. Stop torching the bowl
It's probably cherried. Just try to take a toke whenever a bowl (or whatever) is passed to you. If it doesn't hit, then light it. Don't torch the bowl when you don't need to - it's a waste. And ask your local experienced stoner about cornering, too.

8. Puff, Puff, Pass
Don't fuck up the rotation. It goes to the left. If you don't want to hit it, just pass it.

9. Did you really just say that in public?
If you're a newbie stoner and you're really baked and you're in public....just keep your mouth shut. DON'T start rattling off all of your paranoid thoughts...if you say "we're gonna get fucking arrested" while you're in line at Burger King, you're just giving it away. You might as well shout "I'M STONED ON MARIJUANA!". Just keep your mouth shut, and everything will be fine.

10. If you don't know, ask.
Whether it's "how do I hit this joint" or "I'm having trouble holding this roach, can you help" or "How do I pull the slide", don't be afraid to ask. You'll probably piss people off more by pretending you know what you're doing. You're new, we all understand that you have to learn, and we're all willing to teach you. Just be patient, be respectful, and be ready to get really baked.

DS Original: 7 Easy Ways to Conserve Bud

1. Store your bud in a jar
It doesn't matter if you're picking up dime bags on the weekend or moving QPs on the daily - storing your nug in a jar will conserve it longer. There are two main reasons why a jar will conserve your nug:

1. Shake-no-more: keeping your bud in a jar greatly reduces the chance of your nug breaking apart into shake while it is being stored. If you keep your bud in a plastic baggy, any pressure or friction can cause beautiful buds to crush up into shake. This degrades the quality of your bud instantly. A jar will protect your bud keeping it in perfect nugs for longer.
2. Air tight: You know when you put a bag of weed in your drawer and find it a week later all dried up? Keeping your weed in jar will greatly extend the freshness of your nug, locking in moisture. Even if your bud starts to dry out (from excessive opening of the jar or age), you can put something moist (a wet piece of paper towel) in the jar overnight to rehydrate it.

Also, if you have a dedicated weed jar, you'll be less likely to misplace it (as opposed to a little baggy).

2. Don't roll joints or blunts
I know, I know, it's like telling Picaso not to use a brush. But seriously, if you're looking to get the most out of your weed, stay far away from joints and blunts. So many aspects of our beloved rolled items cause you to waste bud. A little bit escapes during the rolling process, a little bit more gets tossed with the roach...all of this precious bud which you could be smoking. Instead, opt for a glass piece. Bongs are certainly the most efficient, although bubblers and bowls also conserve pretty well.
Note: If you avoid rolling blunts and joints, you'll also save countless dollars that you would've spent on papers, blunt wraps, or cigars...and it'll be more money in your pocket to spend on weed!

3. Use a screen
Since you'll only be using a glass piece in order to make the most out of your bud, you should probably invest in some simple metal screens. Screens only cost a few dollars and can be found at any smoke shop (even tobacco stores that don't sell any marijuana paraphernalia will have metal screens). Screens will conserve by letting you keep hitting your weed until it is completely ash. No more worries about the bowl pulling through - the weed you used to eat will now be guaranteed to go to your lungs.

4. Try a one hitter or vaporizer
Let's face it - unless you're Chubbs or Tang, it probably only takes you a few tokes to get baked. A one hitter is a great option in this case, as it only takes a tiny bit of nug to pack, and it'll get you very stoned. When you're toking on your one hitter, remember to cap it after each hit. (Capping is when you cover both ends of the one hitter in order to extinguish the marijuana via lack of oxygen.)
If you have some cash to spend though, and you want to invest in the highest form of bud conservation, get a vaporizer. Vaporizers make use of all of the THC in your marijuana and thus require less to get you stoned as a stone.

5. Avoid moochers and inexperienced smokers
If you're trying to conserve weed, don't smoke with anyone unless they're throwing down or matching as well. It's really that simple. Smoking someone up for free is the equivalent of paying for their dinner - don't do it unless they're your girlfriend/boyfriend, sibling, or a celebrity.

Avoiding inexperienced smokers will also save you bud -often new smokers have no fucking idea what they're doing. This can lead them to volcano a bowl (accidentally blowing back into a pipe and causing the burning marijuana to fly out), ineffectively take hits (thus wasting precious smoke), or do some other stupid newbie shit. New smokers will also be more reluctant to throw down, and they'll probably have worse bud.

6. Spliffs
I know, I know, I said not to roll joints. But spliffs are a very different story. If you're tobacco friendly, just sacrifice a cigarette and roll yourself up a couple spliffs. I find about .5g and a pinch of tobacco make for a nice joint substitute. The combination of weed and tobacco is a great buzz. You'd be surprised how far you can make your bud go if it's all being rolled up into spliffs.

7. Shotgunning
In the weed world, there are many different definitions for "shotgunning". The one I'm referencing here is when Person A takes a toke, kisses Person B and simultaneously blows the smoke into their lungs. This takes practice, but once you know how to do it, it's fucking awesome. Perfect if you smoke with a significant other - for toke each from the bowl, you both get a hit!

got more ideas for conserving your weed? send 'em to danksites@gmail.com !

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